a significant revelation

Well.

I love Sundays, and I love the Glasgow West End Vineyard Church. (However, I do NOT love this keyboard I'm using at the library!) Today's message was such a blessing. It affirmed and confirmed some of the things I'd been contemplating lately.

The message, was essentially, Christ saying "what's it to you?" when we get caught up in comparing ourselves and not being okay with our own identity. Wow. This hit me like an opening door.

I learned that these were bad questions to ask:

"Why can't I be like...?"
"Maybe if I did this or had that...?"
"What about him...?"

Jamie Watters first examined John chapter 20, in which John and Peter have just discovered the empty tomb. Jamie pointed out that there seemed to be a petty rivalry going on in John 20, between the "disciple whom Jesus loved" and the "...who ran faster, got there first" and it comes out pretty clearly after John 21, where Jesus has a chat with Peter about feeding lambs and taking care of the Church. As they leave, Peter asks "what about him," referring to John. Jesus says "...what is that to you?" Essentially teaching us that our destinies are a matter between ourselves and Christ, and it doesn't matter how someone else will be used for the Kingdom.

Other passages were Genesis 27:18, 19 and 24, in which we meet Jacob and he's impersonating his elder brother, Esau. Later, when he wrestles with God, he is able to say that YES! "My name is Jacob." He's finally comfortable in his skin. He's finally ready to step up to the plate and be one of the famous three: "Abraham, Isaac... and Jacob"

Another example is that of 1st Samuel 8:4, where the Israelites ask for a king "like the other nations." God is heartbroken that they want a king, because it means they have rejected Him as King.

Job 5:2 says that resentment kills and envy slays the simple [evil]. That's pretty self-explanatory.

Finally, the last passage is one of the 10 commandments: You shall not covet. This is one of the internal commandments, because no one really knows whether or not you've broken it. Jamie explained that this is so important to bear in mind, because when you have found your place in God, you wouldn't WANT to have anything or be anyone else.

While this is humbling, this is also incredibly encouraging. It affirms the believers that God loves them for exactly who they are, and wants to use them for exactly who they are. Indeed, growth and maturity must happen, but in one's OWN context, not being compared to everyone else!

It was an example of a question we might ask ourselves that Jamie threw out there that really made me realize that this message had everything to do with me.

"Why should I go into leadership? Others are better than me!"

This has been my foolish question over the last few weeks. I've already mentioned that I've been feeling compelled to go into leadership and ministry in some way next year. Yet, I've been kind of skeptical, cautious, afraid of what I might be getting into. I've looked at other people who have done Barnabas in the past, and compared to them I feel small, insignificant, immature, and entirely unprepared to take on that kind of role. What a fool I've been! Have I forgotten the witty but very true expression that "God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called"?

After the service I asked for prayer. The woman who prayed with me was very affirming. (I wish I had that prayer written down to remind me of the love of God in my life!) She thanked God for who I was, for this inheritance (there's that word again!) and the blessings in my life. She asked for direction and leading and everything else essential to this journey. It was wonderful to be affirmed like that. I was encouraged.

But even now I'm feeling rather doubtful, even though I think I'm pretty sure I know what I'll be applying for come February. We'll see what God has in store. I'm just trusting him, now.

Oy! Strength and encouragement, maturity and growth! Humility and wisdom.... Just a few things I need and long for.



in His grip,

Betsy