I am whole.

Jeremy Camp-"Empty Me"

Holy fire burn away
My desire for anything
That is not of you and is of me
I want more of you
And less of me

Empty me, empty me, fill me
With you, with you


This song is incredibly appropriate for this moment of my life.

A holy fire burnt away over 16 pages of a confession today, after pouring it all out in three hours' time with a couple of my mentors. It was a spiritual surgery; a procedure to extract a second self from my life-- another side of me that lived in darkness, that no one knew about. That self is gone. I have fully entered into the Light. I am free.

There is no condemnation in Christ, but there are consequences. I'm still working through that part. But I rejoice in the Lord (always!) because He is revealing a plan for my life that far exceeds what I expected for myself. I never dreamed of exposing that side of me-- now I've done that. That was one of the hardest things I'd ever had to do. Now, what I once intended to hide and never ever mention is reversed-- I am able to tell people that I'm struggling, that I've got stuff to deal with, and I don't have to worry about what is or isn't said.

I am exhausted. But yet deeply refreshed. I can actually rest, now. I have the Spirit of Him living in me-- the same power that raised Christ from the dead is present in me. And I wield it.

I understand, now. I understand what it means to work out our own salvation. He is generous, loving and gracious, but He isn't going to pry out of my hands what I refuse to give Him. But he will take my hands gently, and help me to, if I let him. And He did. And He's removed it from me and placed it with the things he carried with him on the cross.

Again! Praise God, from whom all blessings flow....

I have been made whole again!

Betsy