I was feeling pretty depressed tonight. It hit me that I'd be alone tomorrow for the first time in five years. It also hit me that I'd never gotten Valentine's Day flowers since my dad gave them to me in 2003. And I was grieving my dad in and of itself-- Missing him, wishing he were here to hug, to take me out tomorrow. Sad that his birthday on Friday will come and go. He would have been only 55 years old. So young. I often wonder if my zest for accomplishing things in life early is affected by the fact that I could only have 30--not 60-- years left, or less. I don't think I've ever actually imagined myself "old and gray."
Anyhow, there were tears and heartache as I sat in my room missing my dad immensely and also missing Eric, too. Then there was a knock on my door, and Eric was on the phone asking if I wanted to go out to Meijer. I was up for a good distraction, so I agreed and picked him up.
When we got to Meijer, I asked what he needed to get, and he said "I wanted to get you flowers."
Turns out he hadn't even known about my earlier sadness or even the trend of not having flowers for Valentine's day. So he bought a couple carnations for some of his other lady friends but bought me a gorgeous orchid (it was that or the creamy white roses, but I wanted a potted plant!) which I am very happy to have on my desk right now. There are 8 flowers on it right now, too. I love it. :) Totally made my night... I'm so glad he's my best friend. As I've said before-- We're not dating, but we still know how to take care of each other. :)
So. Here's to all the men who I've loved and lost--Happy Valentine's Day.
Bets
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1 comment:
Bets,
Thank God for orchids and Erics.
And for your dad... whose life you celebrate and remember and whose death you grieve and remember.
Much love,
H
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