resigned.

 
my answer is this: ok. ok. alright, fine.
but it should be simply put: yes, Lord.


this is the end of a season in my life. not just scotland, i mean, but rather this whole year. 2006, plus a little bit around the edges in 2005, has been a time of significant transition for me. many of my passions, goals, and talents have been uncovered or improved upon. from the preparations for the summer and scotland to the lessons learned while i was there, it amazes me to look back and see the growth of my maturity.

but nearly everyone comes to the end of their education and realizes it's a lot easier than graduating and moving on.

i wish i could stay. i've told this to people. dozens of people. a few people even know that if i was given the option between the united states to finish calvin and staying here for the rest of my life, i'd stay here. my heart is here. this is my (earthly) home (as much as it could become in four months).

and yet, of course, God is making it plain and (painfully) clear that the inevitable departure that is just around the corner was obviously a part of the plan. even though the future is ambiguous, that's alright. i was made for this. i have even been aware for the greater part of the year that it has been a season of preparation. but have i really considered what He would take this whole year to prepare (pretty intensely, too) for?

knowing my Jesus, better is yet to come. and yet, it's not "bigger and better". i hope i get a chance to go abroad again and to do things on that larger scale, yet i have a feeling that the next few years are going to be local and quiet. there is work for me to do, and i've got to step up to being humble, if that makes any sense.

my mom always told me "it's okay to miss me while you're gone [at camp], but don't feel down about it or dwell on it, because you'll see me at the end of the week"

i should remember that about Scotland.


time to go to drumchapel... i hope these sad goodbyes aren't the end.

love,

betsy joy