Unexpected.

Who would have expected Saturday to turn out the way it did?

There we were, at Olive Garden, having the time of our lives: Eric was dressed up in a suit, I was feeling pretty myself, we were eating good food, laughing & flirting and life was good. We hung out afterwards, even kissing and having fun. Then we broke up.

The mood had changed in an instant, and I'm still not sure why. We talked for a while, sat quietly for a bit, shed some tears, asked questions and decided it was time to end things and move on. A break wasn't going to cut it for us. It was just time. It was out of love, though. No hard feelings, no resentment or regrets.

What could have been awkward was the little fact that Sunday was the 3rd anniversary of my dad's death. We had planned to go to church together and then on to Holland to visit the cemetery and the dunes. We decided to go ahead and do it anyway despite our "status," and God just transformed the whole day into a huge blessing. Church was great because Heidi was preaching and every bit of it was so relevant to our situation. She talked about how sometimes in order to follow Christ more closely, we have to sacrifice good things, not just keep the obvious commandments. Eric and I would look at each other and have to keep from cracking up, just because it was so funny how it suited our situation. (He was impressed with her preaching, and could understand that it was the kind of pastor I would want to be.) The service (even singing "Trust and Obey" at the end) affirmed our decision and was incredibly encouraging.

As the rest of the day went on, we just had the best time of being friends and talking together about what happened, where we were at, and even what our future relationships might look like and what we'd do with our lives. We joked about how our breakup was pretty amazing (after all, I got a $16 meal out of the deal! ha) and laughed when "Honey" would slip out. You'd think it would have been painful and/or awkward, but it wasn't. It was an enormous blessing to know that we could, and would, remain as friends.

I'm really relieved that a decision has been made. It was so stressful when things were in limbo-- never knowing how to feel or what to think or what was appropriate. Now that we've made the decision to go our separate ways, we can fully appreciate the other person's character and dreams. I think I probably love Eric more than ever, and not "just as friends," because that's not even relevant. I respect him deeply, and while I miss what we're losing (every decision eliminates possibilities, right Heidi?) I look forward to the future and knowing I have a dear friend's support every step of the way.


So here I am, still smiling at the grace that surrounds this situation and relieved that this decision seems to honor God's gifts to us. So much of yesterday's worship-- at both the church service and LOFT--was directed towards giving God ourselves and our lives. This song in particular struck a chord in my heart (especially the last verse):

Speak, O Lord

Speak, O Lord, as we come to You
To receive the food of Your Holy Word.
Take Your truth, plant it deep in us;
Shape and fashion us in Your likeness,
That the light of Christ might be seen today
In our acts of love and our deeds of faith.
Speak, O Lord, and fulfill in us
All Your purposes for Your glory.

Teach us, Lord, full obedience,
Holy reverence, true humility;
Test our thoughts and our attitudes
In the radiance of Your purity.
Cause our faith to rise; cause our eyes to see
Your majestic love and authority.
Words of pow'r that can never fail—
Let their truth prevail over unbelief.

Speak, O Lord, and renew our minds;
Help us grasp the heights of Your plans for us—
Truths unchanged from the dawn of time
That will echo down through eternity.
And by grace we'll stand on Your promises,
And by faith we'll walk as You walk with us.
Speak, O Lord, till Your church is built
And the earth is filled with Your glory.

Words and Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend
Copyright © 2005 Thankyou Music



Beautiful fall colors at Saugutuck Dunes State Park :)


Eric


Betsy with a good reminder...


Lake Michigan!


Zach, Jane & Julia :)


All His joy be yours,
Betsy