well. the barnabas interview went... alright. it was hard not having both of my hearing aids (still have no idea what happened to my left one) and i found out at the end that there are twice as many applicants this year as there were last. scary scary thought. i'm not feeling very optimistic about getting the position, but i went through with it and did the best i could. i'll find out sometime the week before spring break, probably.
sigh.
tomorrow, then, is the project neighborhood group interview. that should be interesting. the individual interview last week went pretty well, so we'll see how it goes. i don't know when i'll find out the results for that.
stress.
it was good, though, to read what i had written 3 months ago about applying for leadership, and to reflect on the prayers over me in Glasgow. a wee bit of courage there, aye.
i miss my life last year. i miss it a lot. sometimes i really don't know who i am when i look in the mirror-- just someone who's waiting for the next thing to happen, i guess. something else that will challenge me, define me.
♥ betsy joy
Monday, February 26, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
dilemma
I have a dilemma.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life, seeing as how I'm supposed to "set forth my goals and aspirations" down on paper for some of the scholarships and things I've been applying for. Pretty much the big picture includes English and Education/ Travel and Missions, preferably combined. But I also want to get married, to have a companion with me in all of these adventures. I work well in a relationship, and when I marry I am going to love my husband with everything that I am.
I was thinking today about Eric and how well things have been going with him for the last month and a half. I don't want to take things TOO seriously, but it occurred to me that I'm at the point where I'm starting to--or could possibly soon--fall for him. He's everything that I've been trying to find, and he seems to be pretty crazy about me, too.
I think a lot when I shower. And today, I thought about how I fell for Jordan thinking that he would be someone I could go places with, and it turned out that it wasn't in him. I feel like all along he admired my initative and was trying to figure out what my secret was, how to be that for himself. I feel like Jordan changed his mind when he realized it wasn't going to be easy to be with me, that he wasn't cut out for that kind of life.
I'm afraid that Eric might discover down the road that picking up and going won't be for him, either.
That's a scary thought.
As I said, when I marry, I will be completely devoted to my husband. But I also love this world. I want--I need a companion who sees what I'm after and thinks it's worthwhile. I am a dreamer, and I am an achiever. I want to know what the four corners of the Earth look like. I want to travel everywhere. I feel as though my calling is almost to be a Nomad For Life.
This doesn't mean that I can't compromise. I'm willing to stay in the States, for years at a time even. But after what happened with Jordan, I know that my heart is a wanderer, and that my dreams are either going to live or die, and if they die, my life will lose meaning because my identity will have lost meaning.
I can't promise my future husband an easy lifestyle with all the comforts of modern luxuries. I can't promise him that we'll be able to afford a really nice house, or that we'll be able to put our kids through college.
But I can promise him that life will never be boring. I can promise that I'll never abandon him. I can promise that I love him faithfully and that I'll make sacrifices for him.
I don't know what Eric would choose. I don't know if he knows what he might be getting into.
I don't know if I could stand falling in love again only to hear that he can't go with me, that he doesn't want to go with me. I don't want to have to say goodbye, again.
Should I ask Eric? Should I explain this, to tell him what it means to be with me? Doesn't he have a right to have it out there, straightforward?
There's always the question of whether there's a chance I won't actually live abroad and do all of these things. Yes, there's a chance it wouldn't happen. But a very small chance. When I think of living in the States all of my life (let alone Michigan) something inside of me crumbles. I know I can go after my heart, I've done it before. The "unlikely" happens a lot for me, because I choose to go after it. God grants the dream and the ability, but I've got to put the two together and that's what I've done.
Yeah. I'm definitely going. Who then, will come with me? I long for a companion. I don't want to do it alone...
♥ Betsy
I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life, seeing as how I'm supposed to "set forth my goals and aspirations" down on paper for some of the scholarships and things I've been applying for. Pretty much the big picture includes English and Education/ Travel and Missions, preferably combined. But I also want to get married, to have a companion with me in all of these adventures. I work well in a relationship, and when I marry I am going to love my husband with everything that I am.
I was thinking today about Eric and how well things have been going with him for the last month and a half. I don't want to take things TOO seriously, but it occurred to me that I'm at the point where I'm starting to--or could possibly soon--fall for him. He's everything that I've been trying to find, and he seems to be pretty crazy about me, too.
I think a lot when I shower. And today, I thought about how I fell for Jordan thinking that he would be someone I could go places with, and it turned out that it wasn't in him. I feel like all along he admired my initative and was trying to figure out what my secret was, how to be that for himself. I feel like Jordan changed his mind when he realized it wasn't going to be easy to be with me, that he wasn't cut out for that kind of life.
I'm afraid that Eric might discover down the road that picking up and going won't be for him, either.
That's a scary thought.
As I said, when I marry, I will be completely devoted to my husband. But I also love this world. I want--I need a companion who sees what I'm after and thinks it's worthwhile. I am a dreamer, and I am an achiever. I want to know what the four corners of the Earth look like. I want to travel everywhere. I feel as though my calling is almost to be a Nomad For Life.
This doesn't mean that I can't compromise. I'm willing to stay in the States, for years at a time even. But after what happened with Jordan, I know that my heart is a wanderer, and that my dreams are either going to live or die, and if they die, my life will lose meaning because my identity will have lost meaning.
I can't promise my future husband an easy lifestyle with all the comforts of modern luxuries. I can't promise him that we'll be able to afford a really nice house, or that we'll be able to put our kids through college.
But I can promise him that life will never be boring. I can promise that I'll never abandon him. I can promise that I love him faithfully and that I'll make sacrifices for him.
I don't know what Eric would choose. I don't know if he knows what he might be getting into.
I don't know if I could stand falling in love again only to hear that he can't go with me, that he doesn't want to go with me. I don't want to have to say goodbye, again.
Should I ask Eric? Should I explain this, to tell him what it means to be with me? Doesn't he have a right to have it out there, straightforward?
There's always the question of whether there's a chance I won't actually live abroad and do all of these things. Yes, there's a chance it wouldn't happen. But a very small chance. When I think of living in the States all of my life (let alone Michigan) something inside of me crumbles. I know I can go after my heart, I've done it before. The "unlikely" happens a lot for me, because I choose to go after it. God grants the dream and the ability, but I've got to put the two together and that's what I've done.
Yeah. I'm definitely going. Who then, will come with me? I long for a companion. I don't want to do it alone...
♥ Betsy
Saturday, February 10, 2007
improvement :)
when i wrote that last post, i was at the lowest point of this past week. it's funny; i went to a spiritual autobiography thing on thursday afternoon and it was actually pretty healing to take some time to chart out where i've been. then, when i was discussing it with my mentor, heidi, over coffee yesterday, she commented that sometimes our spiritual lives can be charted on the large scale, such as the last 10 years, but sometimes there's so much change within a week, too. amen to that, sista!
heidi is a wonderful woman and she is the best match i could have gotten for a mentor. we laugh together a lot. and she and i have similar pasts and similar spirits-- she can tell her stories and it really helps me, and even if she can't finish an explanation of a concept or a train of thought, she doesn't need to, because i understand. all in all, the conversation was much needed, and the time always flies for us.
in terms of other encouraging news, the barnabas meeting went really well, and i've still got interest in doing project neighborhood, and there's a really cool research opportunity for this summer that i'm applying for. prayers please! it would be amazing to get picked for barnabas and the research thing, because it would definitely lighten the load for my tuition next year. but i've got to trust God with that either way. one or the other would even be fantastic.
i still miss glasgow, btw. and i still miss my dad. it struck a melancholy chord within me when debbi asked if she should go say hi to her dad in the fieldhouse since he was probably watching the girls bbgame all by himself. i wished that my dad was in the fieldhouse watching a game and that i could go visit him. i wish i could see him at all; tell him what i've been up to and ask him some questions. i wonder what things would have been like had he not died yet-- if my maturity and going off to college would have improved things. i feel like it would have, that the bitterness couldn't have lasted forever. but then again, i'm grateful that my mom wasn't home alone through all of it.
yeah. i miss him. i especially wish that eric could have met him. they'd have gotten along great.
so anyway, i just wanted to inform the world--my world--that i'm doing much better now, thanks.
wuv.
bets
heidi is a wonderful woman and she is the best match i could have gotten for a mentor. we laugh together a lot. and she and i have similar pasts and similar spirits-- she can tell her stories and it really helps me, and even if she can't finish an explanation of a concept or a train of thought, she doesn't need to, because i understand. all in all, the conversation was much needed, and the time always flies for us.
in terms of other encouraging news, the barnabas meeting went really well, and i've still got interest in doing project neighborhood, and there's a really cool research opportunity for this summer that i'm applying for. prayers please! it would be amazing to get picked for barnabas and the research thing, because it would definitely lighten the load for my tuition next year. but i've got to trust God with that either way. one or the other would even be fantastic.
i still miss glasgow, btw. and i still miss my dad. it struck a melancholy chord within me when debbi asked if she should go say hi to her dad in the fieldhouse since he was probably watching the girls bbgame all by himself. i wished that my dad was in the fieldhouse watching a game and that i could go visit him. i wish i could see him at all; tell him what i've been up to and ask him some questions. i wonder what things would have been like had he not died yet-- if my maturity and going off to college would have improved things. i feel like it would have, that the bitterness couldn't have lasted forever. but then again, i'm grateful that my mom wasn't home alone through all of it.
yeah. i miss him. i especially wish that eric could have met him. they'd have gotten along great.
so anyway, i just wanted to inform the world--my world--that i'm doing much better now, thanks.
wuv.
bets
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
ministry fair
every year, they have a ministry fair in the library lobby.
is it coincidence, then, that the first person i talked to was ed speyers?
i walked up to the wycliff bible translators table, and a man introduced himself as ed and asked who i was. i caught a glance at his nametag and the name stuck, and i couldn't shake it off. ed speyers... where had i heard that name before? to explain the confused look on my face i stumbled out that i knew his name from somewhere, that he might have known my dad. he asked who that was, and i replied '[my dad's name], from ebenezer.' at first ed said nothing, and then he said yes... ebenezer reformed, i've preached there a few times. my wife and i actually live near there... [my dad's name]? passed away a couple of years ago?
ah! yes. he did know who my dad was. mystery solved. i proceeded to ask about the brochures about the teacher program and literacy aspects of wycliff's program, but he stopped me.
"how is your family holding up?" he asked. again, caught off guard. so i explained how my mom was remarried and happy and there was more somewhat awkward conversation trying to explain exactly whose triplets i was talking about.
"i knew your dad," he said with eyes glistening, "he was a great man, and did a lot of wonderful things in his life. i'm good friends with todd [the pastor at ebenezer] and we've talked about your dad's impact." (paraphrased, more or less.)
i frankly didn't know what to say. ed came around the table to give me a hug. then he explained about wycliff's programs to me, but by then i was so distracted i didn't hear much, although the program sounds fantastic and i know it's reputable.
it was good to know that people still remember my dad, and are still moved by who he was and what he did for our community. and i'm guessing that ed speyers gained more out of the encounter than i had, knowing that dewey's daughter was going into ministry.
(oh! eric! i need a hug...)
edit::
eric had just walked up as i finished that entry up. of all chance meetings, i happened to run into him there. it's kind of funny, considering he's never in the library! crazy.
other than the emotional tugging of seeing ed speyers, the other information was pretty good. it's amazing how excited those people get when you tell them you want to go abroad. i think that the vast amount of need/opportunity that i witnessed there (wycliff alone needs 300 teachers right now to teach MKs!) confirmed that i'll be going abroad when i'm done with college. mmmmhm. give or take a year or two, considering where my relational/financial/familial situations are at (catch my drift?)
ideally, i would graduate from calvin, married or engaged, go abroad for a couple years with the husband doing peace corp or similar setup, come back to the states and go to grad school and then head out abroad again for an increasingly longer time on the field doing whatever it is i end up doing. i'm open to options and variations, though. that's just what i picture myself doing right now.
and that picture makes me very, very happy.
♥ betsy joy
is it coincidence, then, that the first person i talked to was ed speyers?
i walked up to the wycliff bible translators table, and a man introduced himself as ed and asked who i was. i caught a glance at his nametag and the name stuck, and i couldn't shake it off. ed speyers... where had i heard that name before? to explain the confused look on my face i stumbled out that i knew his name from somewhere, that he might have known my dad. he asked who that was, and i replied '[my dad's name], from ebenezer.' at first ed said nothing, and then he said yes... ebenezer reformed, i've preached there a few times. my wife and i actually live near there... [my dad's name]? passed away a couple of years ago?
ah! yes. he did know who my dad was. mystery solved. i proceeded to ask about the brochures about the teacher program and literacy aspects of wycliff's program, but he stopped me.
"how is your family holding up?" he asked. again, caught off guard. so i explained how my mom was remarried and happy and there was more somewhat awkward conversation trying to explain exactly whose triplets i was talking about.
"i knew your dad," he said with eyes glistening, "he was a great man, and did a lot of wonderful things in his life. i'm good friends with todd [the pastor at ebenezer] and we've talked about your dad's impact." (paraphrased, more or less.)
i frankly didn't know what to say. ed came around the table to give me a hug. then he explained about wycliff's programs to me, but by then i was so distracted i didn't hear much, although the program sounds fantastic and i know it's reputable.
it was good to know that people still remember my dad, and are still moved by who he was and what he did for our community. and i'm guessing that ed speyers gained more out of the encounter than i had, knowing that dewey's daughter was going into ministry.
(oh! eric! i need a hug...)
edit::
eric had just walked up as i finished that entry up. of all chance meetings, i happened to run into him there. it's kind of funny, considering he's never in the library! crazy.
other than the emotional tugging of seeing ed speyers, the other information was pretty good. it's amazing how excited those people get when you tell them you want to go abroad. i think that the vast amount of need/opportunity that i witnessed there (wycliff alone needs 300 teachers right now to teach MKs!) confirmed that i'll be going abroad when i'm done with college. mmmmhm. give or take a year or two, considering where my relational/financial/familial situations are at (catch my drift?)
ideally, i would graduate from calvin, married or engaged, go abroad for a couple years with the husband doing peace corp or similar setup, come back to the states and go to grad school and then head out abroad again for an increasingly longer time on the field doing whatever it is i end up doing. i'm open to options and variations, though. that's just what i picture myself doing right now.
and that picture makes me very, very happy.
♥ betsy joy
Monday, February 5, 2007
exhausted.
exhausted. the long and short of this must be that i've got pms. this sucks, since i can't be sure that my emotions are 'valid' instead of 'manipulated' by the amount of hormones flooding my system. how do i know this? um, the four hour nap i had this afternoon. dingdingding! that's a big clue for me.
but hormones and moodiness aside, there's a few big things that really are tugging at my heart, and i should let them.
the struggle and desire to practice discipline is coming back again. i'm like a kid-- follow the rules till you're given the chance to let them slip, but after a while when you've lost the routine, you start missing the structure. anyhow, i don't feel guilty like i was before, so maybe the dip in the pattern was a good thing for me.
second, my heart is more elsewhere than ever. i've been missing glasgow a lot this week, but i'm to the point that i would go anywhere. just today i checked out a website about teaching english in china to promising english teachers and added it to my "opportunities" bookmarks folder. i'd do it. i'm wondering if God is using this time back in the states to prep my heart for something that i would have never imagined before i went to scotland. wait, could my dream to go to scotland have been both a step in the scaffold, but also a hindrance? it's hard to grasp that, and i could never know for sure, but it's true that all my energies were focused on going back there that i readily dismissed any other opportunity. now, though, as i said--i'd go anywhere. sure the usa is a lucky place to live, but i don't want to be identified with this nation for the rest of my life. i want to identify with people. i want to identify with every culture, tribe, language, nation. at the second coming, i want to see my friends in that crazy crowd of diverse people.
finally, my heart is longing to know Christ for who he is, not the constructed Christ that has been formed in my mind for the last nineteen years. the decision to take 'the doctrine of christ and reconcilliation' was probably one of the best decisions i've made about courses. i wanted to know who He was in a new way, and hoped this class would help focus my attention there, and it definitely will!
it's after six, now, and i've got to eat dinner. i'm glad i've started writing here again, though. i'm so much more in tune with myself when i do.
♥ betsyjoy
but hormones and moodiness aside, there's a few big things that really are tugging at my heart, and i should let them.
the struggle and desire to practice discipline is coming back again. i'm like a kid-- follow the rules till you're given the chance to let them slip, but after a while when you've lost the routine, you start missing the structure. anyhow, i don't feel guilty like i was before, so maybe the dip in the pattern was a good thing for me.
second, my heart is more elsewhere than ever. i've been missing glasgow a lot this week, but i'm to the point that i would go anywhere. just today i checked out a website about teaching english in china to promising english teachers and added it to my "opportunities" bookmarks folder. i'd do it. i'm wondering if God is using this time back in the states to prep my heart for something that i would have never imagined before i went to scotland. wait, could my dream to go to scotland have been both a step in the scaffold, but also a hindrance? it's hard to grasp that, and i could never know for sure, but it's true that all my energies were focused on going back there that i readily dismissed any other opportunity. now, though, as i said--i'd go anywhere. sure the usa is a lucky place to live, but i don't want to be identified with this nation for the rest of my life. i want to identify with people. i want to identify with every culture, tribe, language, nation. at the second coming, i want to see my friends in that crazy crowd of diverse people.
finally, my heart is longing to know Christ for who he is, not the constructed Christ that has been formed in my mind for the last nineteen years. the decision to take 'the doctrine of christ and reconcilliation' was probably one of the best decisions i've made about courses. i wanted to know who He was in a new way, and hoped this class would help focus my attention there, and it definitely will!
it's after six, now, and i've got to eat dinner. i'm glad i've started writing here again, though. i'm so much more in tune with myself when i do.
♥ betsyjoy
Sunday, February 4, 2007
there is a song in my heart, but i don't know the words; there is a tear on my cheek for the cries of the world; there is parts to my soul that can't be explained; but i dream, and i dream, yet i dream.
i long for Glasgow. i miss it. part of it is simply a frustration with the united states and the western culture, but part of it is a genuine desire for the way of life i used to have; freedom and life on my own. sometimes it blows me away to think about the fact that i got on an airplane, got off in a foreign city with no one there to help me, and made a new life and a home there. incredible. nothing can stop me now-- i am perfectly willing to go anywhere, learn any new language, and adapt to any new culture. i know i can.
i have to ask myself at times why i'm at calvin. technically, i've got all the education i need: if my goal is simply to teach english somewhere else and be involved with churches abroad, i should/could just sign up and go. but i am here, and i have a responsibility to complete what i've started. also, should i ever need to come back to the states, a certificate for teaching is a good thing to have. i want to be prepared.
i miss bethany belisa. i would love to just sit down with a cup of coffee and talk about dreams with her. she is such a lovely woman, and an incredible encouragement to me--even the memory of her is powerful.
i need a sabbatical from life. i want to retreat to the woods, to the mountains, to the river, to kelvingrove park and watch the kids play. i wish i could stop time at certain moments; when i suceed, when i'm snuggled up with the boy i like, when i remember my dad.
when i'm blue, i think about my dad, and i wish that it were the memory of him that made me sad in the first place. i don't like to think that i remember him when i'm already down, as though i'm moving through my grief more efficiently: since i'm sad now, i might as well be sad about him, too, so that my sadness is collective and i can spend more time being happy. i know it doesn't really work that way, but then again, maybe it does.
i'm glad i'm writing. eric is sitting next to me working on his paper, and so far i've written quite a bit more than he has in half the time. true, he has to focus on one topic, and i'm just being random, but still, i think i've got a bit more of a knack for articulating (and typing) my thoughts out.
i glance over, and make a few grammatical corrections on the last line of his paper. i'm good at that. granted, i ignore it in my own pieces, but xanga posts aren't technical papers that i'm being graded on.
life is beautiful. sometimes it is quite the letdown from the intensity and freedom that i've had in the past year-- being on my own for so much of it, away from family and friends, challenged in new and refreshing ways-- but i've been suprised all the same. eric, for example, just redeemed the male race of america. i had given up on american guys until i met him ;) just kidding. sort of.
i've been surprised at myself, too. i'm disappointed, really. but as heidi showed me, it's okay for me to step back a bit and collect myself. still, i'm disappointed. i wish i still had the momentum that i had going before.
i feel like want to cry, and i don't know why. for some reason my soul is lamenting. that's a good word for it: lament. it implies disappointment, a deep passion, expression. my soul laments for the friends i've had to let go, for the person i was, for the experiences that i can't replace. i ache.
no wonder these days i've just felt like curling up and being quiet. sleep has been healing. eric's embraces are comforting. the snow--soft and lovely, yet cold--is also a part of it.
i am most myself when i am travelling, when i can respond to people unhindered from the cultural norms i've grown up with, when i can challenge myself and depend on God, when i can constantly learn from the interactions i have. it's amazing, liberating.
it's liberating to have a dream, too. it can be liberating not to have dreams, and it can be liberating to have them as well. as for me, well, i need those dreams. they keep me going. when i accomplish my dreams i feel like i've been given the best gift ever-- what better gift could you have than your heart's longing, the gift that you yourself know better than anyone, the gift that your mind has put together and your heart has believed in... does that make sense? you formed it, and God gives it to you. custom made, really. That's what i love about it. my biggest dream was to return to Scotland, and God gave it to me. i'm lucky, but believe me, i worked hard for it.
i think i'm going to be quiet, and let the thoughts ease from my mind, and think about restfulness.
beautiful words: quiet, ease, restfulness.
just like the snow.
♥ betsy joy
i long for Glasgow. i miss it. part of it is simply a frustration with the united states and the western culture, but part of it is a genuine desire for the way of life i used to have; freedom and life on my own. sometimes it blows me away to think about the fact that i got on an airplane, got off in a foreign city with no one there to help me, and made a new life and a home there. incredible. nothing can stop me now-- i am perfectly willing to go anywhere, learn any new language, and adapt to any new culture. i know i can.
i have to ask myself at times why i'm at calvin. technically, i've got all the education i need: if my goal is simply to teach english somewhere else and be involved with churches abroad, i should/could just sign up and go. but i am here, and i have a responsibility to complete what i've started. also, should i ever need to come back to the states, a certificate for teaching is a good thing to have. i want to be prepared.
i miss bethany belisa. i would love to just sit down with a cup of coffee and talk about dreams with her. she is such a lovely woman, and an incredible encouragement to me--even the memory of her is powerful.
i need a sabbatical from life. i want to retreat to the woods, to the mountains, to the river, to kelvingrove park and watch the kids play. i wish i could stop time at certain moments; when i suceed, when i'm snuggled up with the boy i like, when i remember my dad.
when i'm blue, i think about my dad, and i wish that it were the memory of him that made me sad in the first place. i don't like to think that i remember him when i'm already down, as though i'm moving through my grief more efficiently: since i'm sad now, i might as well be sad about him, too, so that my sadness is collective and i can spend more time being happy. i know it doesn't really work that way, but then again, maybe it does.
i'm glad i'm writing. eric is sitting next to me working on his paper, and so far i've written quite a bit more than he has in half the time. true, he has to focus on one topic, and i'm just being random, but still, i think i've got a bit more of a knack for articulating (and typing) my thoughts out.
i glance over, and make a few grammatical corrections on the last line of his paper. i'm good at that. granted, i ignore it in my own pieces, but xanga posts aren't technical papers that i'm being graded on.
life is beautiful. sometimes it is quite the letdown from the intensity and freedom that i've had in the past year-- being on my own for so much of it, away from family and friends, challenged in new and refreshing ways-- but i've been suprised all the same. eric, for example, just redeemed the male race of america. i had given up on american guys until i met him ;) just kidding. sort of.
i've been surprised at myself, too. i'm disappointed, really. but as heidi showed me, it's okay for me to step back a bit and collect myself. still, i'm disappointed. i wish i still had the momentum that i had going before.
i feel like want to cry, and i don't know why. for some reason my soul is lamenting. that's a good word for it: lament. it implies disappointment, a deep passion, expression. my soul laments for the friends i've had to let go, for the person i was, for the experiences that i can't replace. i ache.
no wonder these days i've just felt like curling up and being quiet. sleep has been healing. eric's embraces are comforting. the snow--soft and lovely, yet cold--is also a part of it.
i am most myself when i am travelling, when i can respond to people unhindered from the cultural norms i've grown up with, when i can challenge myself and depend on God, when i can constantly learn from the interactions i have. it's amazing, liberating.
it's liberating to have a dream, too. it can be liberating not to have dreams, and it can be liberating to have them as well. as for me, well, i need those dreams. they keep me going. when i accomplish my dreams i feel like i've been given the best gift ever-- what better gift could you have than your heart's longing, the gift that you yourself know better than anyone, the gift that your mind has put together and your heart has believed in... does that make sense? you formed it, and God gives it to you. custom made, really. That's what i love about it. my biggest dream was to return to Scotland, and God gave it to me. i'm lucky, but believe me, i worked hard for it.
i think i'm going to be quiet, and let the thoughts ease from my mind, and think about restfulness.
beautiful words: quiet, ease, restfulness.
just like the snow.
♥ betsy joy
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