Annual New Year's Post for 2009.

Yesterday I got a chance to look back on four New Years blog entries from past years. (For some reason I'm missing a blog entry anticipating the year 2006- I'm almost positive one would have been written, but I can't seem to track it down.) Anyway. Reading these, especially reflecting on the ways I've changed and grown since I started doing this back in 2003, is partly a heart-wrenching ordeal, and partly celebration, since I can look back and say YES, God was faithful.

Some excerpts--

For 2004, predictions for the upcoming year (instead of resolutions):

1) my dads disease will be getting worse.
2) i predict that i'll be closer to God this year.
3) a lot of my friendships will be stronger this coming year.
4) i have a feeling that if my school stuff slipped this year, it's gonna slip even MORE next year. for whatever reasons.
5) i think i'll be a better writer this coming year.

(They all came true.)

For 2005, mostly a reflection on the past year and the death of my dad:

"it's coming down to me saying yes-- yes, 2004 was a great year in so many ways... and also heartbreaking, too. but this is the end. no! this is the beginning. 

next year at this time, i can look back and see how things have changed. it'll be good for me, every year i do this and every year i'm amazed by the changes. it's a little disheartening to think that this is going to be my first year without my dad.... but it's also going to be a good year, too. yep, i know it. i can only move forward....
all and all---

jesus. friendship. travel. worship. breaking hearts. family. truth. coming together. living. joy."

For 2007, after returning from Scotland and facing reverse culture shock:

"I guess feel as though I'm stale, but I think it would be better to think of this point as stalemate. The dictionary defines it as "a situation in which further action or progress by opposing or competing parties seems impossible"....

Further action or progress seems impossible.

...I'm desperately in need of Grace. I kinda stink at transitions when I'm reluctant to let go." [I also included the lyrics for "When I Go Down-Relient K.]

For 2008, a prayer for Grace:

"Oh Lord, Plant the seed of Love in my heart. Teach me Acceptance-with-Joy and Bearing-the-Cost. Make my feet like the deers'. I sacrifice my will on these feeble altars. Be my Savior, and I will follow you wherever you go.

Pray for me as I walk hand in hand with both Sorrow and Suffering,"

So. Looking back, I think you can see with me the persistence a the theme of me needing Grace. And I have been given it in abundance. There is especially a stark contrast between me this year and where I was last year. Even in the last six months, I have become a stronger individual in every area. I am so grateful that people can change; that I could change. I have real freedom in Christ because of this.

This year is a final chapter in my life as a college student. It will be a story of finishing strong academically, of discovering what my first job of my teaching career will be, and of leaving home for good.

But it will also be a story of community, of new friendships made and old friendships held dear, of accomplishments and of disappointments. Pain is a non-negotiable part of any year, but so is growth.

When I wrote my post last year, I wanted change to come on quickly, for me to step into the person that I am now within days or weeks. But that didn't happen; it took a whole year. Change happens slowly. But God has been faithful and merciful. I can trust that His grace is sufficient for me. And it is sufficient for you.

My friends, may you grow in grace and in the knowledge of Jesus Christ this year.
To God be the glory, now and forever, now and forever, Amen.

Betsy


A preview of 2009...
January: Mission trip to Rehoboth!
February-April: Student teaching at Jenison High!
May: Walking in the Graduation ceremony... woohoo!
June-August: HOPEFULLY interning somewhere in Grand Rapids... and turning 22 :)
September-December: Last semester of college + graduation!