(short pause)
"I love you too, Aunt Betsy!"
"I love you more!"
"I love you too!"
"See ya later!"
(in exactly the same tone:)
"See ya later!"
Tyler can be pretty mischievous at times, especially being the boy with two sisters. He often gets away with more than he should. Tonight, while he still looked at me with a glint in his eye when I asked him for the 10th time to Please Not Touch My Computer Screen, for much of the night he was uncharacteristically cuddly. He sat with me for quite a while as I checked my email and he watched the Rudolf movie. At nearly three years old, the triplets are a delight and entertainment. Sure, they have their moments, but we're so glad to have them around. :)
I had a very good day, except for almost being late for church (let's just say I'm grateful no cops were out!) I had been thinking about ways to become more involved at MCC, now that Rehoboth is behind us and I'm looking forward to having a full year--all 12 months of 2009-- to spend with this church family. A few longings have been on my heart for weeks now, and I finally started paying attention to them. And, as cliche as it sounds, a verse on the Christian radio station brought me to a place where I could articulate them after the service and see that yes, maybe God was prompting me to pursue that route.
The passage was Proverbs 3:5-6.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
I realized that it was exactly what I needed to hear:
that I needed to indeed trust God with my heart, even when I'm still afraid (even after all the times He has answered my heart's desires!) of disappointment;
that even though I couldn't foresee how it would work out, I needed to not lean on my own understanding;
that it was time to acknowledge what God has been doing in my life and acknowledge these dreams He has given me;
and finally, to let Him make the way forward and follow Him.
The sermon today was a perfect followup, too. It was all about Coit, so again, God's timing was impeccable, as it always is. I have learned so much in the past weeks, and He has affirmed and reaffirmed His love to me in countless ways. I hear Him asking me now, "Do you Love me? Do you really Agape me? Betsy, will you love me unconditionally?" and I want to answer that with Yes!
I come broken, though. I come as a vessel with impurities and imperfect contents. But the Lord has cleansed me and filled me with unbounding Joy. Sometimes I can even feel a bit embarrassed by the energy it gives me, but when Love and Joy come freely, who can resist it? If you knew my past and sins, you would also be amazed at the transformation that my precious Jesus has brought me through. This IS the power of the cross, He IS the beautiful one I love, the one I adore: my soul shall sing.
Betsy
PS. I get PostSecrets every Sunday, and the last one today made me laugh, if not a bit surprised and curious! ;)
http://postsecret.blogspot.com/
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