Love for Christ (apparently part 3 of these love-themed posts!)

It's hard for me to believe that I once couldn't bring myself to go to church on Sunday mornings. That just over a year ago, I had "gods" in my life that attempted to separate me from the One who loves me most. Now, here I am, completely enamored with the Church and the Christ who is the Head, and unbelievably welcomes me into a real Relationship with Him. Yes, it's messy. Yes, it's hard and the lines are sometimes blurred, but living in expectancy of His grace and goodness is so much better than living with expectations.

MCC has been one of the greatest gifts I have received from God. My brothers and sisters in Christ there are real people with real problems and also a real love for God. They have demonstrated true hospitality towards me, and in turn, it has overflowed from them to me and now from me to others. I love serving there. I am so thrilled to be a part of that community, and to be able to get involved in deeper ways all the time, esp for next summer! I have flourished and found joy again. I have accepted the forgiveness of Christ and the joy (after the Pain) is uncontainable. Just try and get me to hold still while I sing there! ;)

I can hardly believe the changes in my own person. I still have the same struggles, and it's pretty clear when I look at my life that I have stuff to deal with yet, but I am so different all the same. I am the member of the Body that I have longed to be. Broken as I am, I've found that the weak ARE able to lead the strong. I have found that Christian community is deeply satisfying in a way that I had been very skeptical of before. God is so good to me. His faithfulness endures.

Betsy

a different kind of love story

Today is February 15th. My dad would have been 56 today! And each year since his death, I've done little things to remind myself (and often, reminding others) of his life. Sometimes these things include a rose on his grave, or to visit the church he worked at, or going through a box of his things to look one more at his drivers license picture, his wallet, various papers marking the progress through his life and death.

Changing my profile picture and status on FB is a tiny thing to do compared to the loss that I've experienced, but it helps me remember him. Frederick Buechner, in his book Telling Secrets, describes the way he forgot altogether what his dad was like because no one ever talked about it.

Writing this blog post to reflect on these things I do helps me remember the reasons why I do those things.

It's the little things we do, that help us remember the past by, not by erecting a monument in my dad's honor. It's the way I honor him in my life every day-- from the dreams I'm pursuing, the involvement at my church, getting on the Dean's list (again!)--that would make my dad proud. And so I go ahead and change my profile picture to the one of us wearing silly hats in Key West, because that's a memory (bittersweet as it is) that I can remember and smile at. There are other memories, too, trapped into poems and pictures that are not so happy, and today is not the day for remembering those. Some other time, some other October.

I miss you, Dad. I love you. Happy Birthday.

Betsy

love stories.

five years ago today, i met my first boyfriend. his name is jordan.
he now lives in tulsa, happily in a relationship with someone else.
we spent three valentine's days together.


two years ago today, i was not on a date with a brand new boyfriend. we went out with friends who needed our love more, and that was a good memory. (we went out the following weekend.) his name is eric.
he is at calvin, too. he is now happily in a new relationship with someone else.

when i think back to the men in my life-- all of them, from high school crushes, all my four different kissers, to long-distance-long-term relationships, to summer daydreams and significant coffee dates (at least in my mind), friendly dates and hopeful glances-- it's quite the variety. my men have been quite the unconventional types.

my love story is not turning out how i thought it would five, four, three or two years ago, or even one year ago. but that's okay. it's better. my heart is better attuned to who the Lord is calling me to love, and I wouldn't trade the deep love of Jesus for anything. :)

it was strange, though, to spend today as a truly single woman, unattached and available. it was quite unromantic. my mom did give me some new fun jewelry, though! and candy hearts (even though i don't like candy hearts... oh well.) i watched tv. there were a few valentine's day episodes on, which were cute. and my mom and stepdad went out for dinner while i ate chicken nuggets. not so bad, really. i did talk to jordan for a few minutes via fb, which was really good for me. we've all changed so much, for the better, for the stronger and wiser. :) i can only wonder what my next valentine's day will be like. where in the world will i be? who will i know? what will i do? i guess i just have to keep up the adventure of my life to find out.


<3 betsy

A friend of a friend of a friend..... wrote this:

...I especially won’t believe that God wants me to know the Bible, but not know literature, relationships, beauty, work, sacrifice, science, art and service. I will approach all those things as a Biblically thinking Christian, with a grid of God and the Gospel giving cohesion and hope to all I experience and encounter.

I want to suggest that “Bible study” that amounts to an obsessive concern with what the Bible says and no more is not the way we live the Christian life. If we know God and the Gospel, we should raise our sails in the winds of human experience, creativity and discovery, expecting God’s truth to be there as well.

I experience this frequently. I will teach a poem or story and realize I am in the Biblical world. I will sense in human brokenness the Biblical story. In a thousand ways I see the face and compassion of Jesus. In explorations and discoveries I see the marvel of God’s power and detail in creation.

None of these thing take the Bible away from me. I take the Bible with me into these parts of my life. I take the Bible, its “map” of reality and truth, its message of hope and most of all, its Gospel of redemption, resurrection and a new world begun in Christ.


I got this from my friend Steph's blog, who reflected on it and I liked the quote she had from someone else's blog, a guy by the name of Michael Spencer (aka Internetmonk). I went and read the context, and it was intriguing. I'd encourage you to check it out and consider what he says, especially his last question: "Is the Bible a stopping place or a starting place for Christian thinking?"

Anyway. Interesting stuff. Thought I would pass it on.

Betsy

Teaching blog

Hi Friends.

Student teaching is going wonderfully well. I have actually started another blog for my own reflections (since typing is easiest for me, and a blog is conveniently available anywhere there is a computer). I have made it unlisted/ private, because I don't want to risk a bad situation of misunderstandings between me/students/parents/other teachers/etc.

However, I know that many of you would be interested in following my stories (and reading yet another blog) about teaching and I would be more than happy to make it available to you in that way. If you're interested, leave a comment and I'll add you to my list. :) I'm also planning on emailing my updates to my advising professors, so email is an option too.

Time for bed!

Betsy

Oh, how I love You Jesus! <3

There is a name I love to hear
I love to sing its worth
It sounds like music in mine ear
The sweetest name on earth

Oh, how I love you, Jesus
Oh, how I love you, Jesus
Oh, how I love you, Jesus
Because you first loved me!

It tells me of a Saviour's love
Who died to set me free
It tells me of His precious blood
The sinner's perfect plea

It tells me what my Father hath
In store for ev'ry day
And though I tread a darksome path
Yields sunshine all the way

It tells of One whose loving heart
Can feel my deepest woe
Who in each sorrow bears a part
That none can bear below